Desperation
by helloitsolly
Summary: 'He promised he'd be there forever. He said he'd never leave, and Finnick tries to convince himself as hard as he can that Gale never left. He didn't choose to leave, and if Gale had his way he'd still be here.' Finnick tries to deal with Gale going to fight for the rebellion. DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE.


**Authors Note: Hello! This if my first fanfic **** I ship Gale/Finnick because they are perfect sorry! Anyway I would also appreciate it if you followed my personal tumblr sick— .com! Thanks for reading guys! This is a one shot btw! Depression, and suicide right at the end sorry.**

_Chapter 1:_

He promised he'd be there forever. He said he'd never leave, and Finnick tries to convince himself as hard as he can that Gale never left. He didn't choose to leave, and if Gale had his way he'd still be here. Here to kiss Finnick and hold his fragile body close. However, Gale did not get the choice. And he has left. He's not here anyway, so that counts as leaving. This rings around Finnick's mind. All day. Every day. Every minute. Finnick misses him so much it is ruining him. The sad thing is Finnick knows he's falling apart and perhaps he rather wishes he would just fall apart now so he could stop worrying about everything else. Then maybe he could go and see Gale.

"I'm sorry," Gale whispers into Finnicks ear. Finnick just nods numbly because he is at a loss of words. He doesn't know how to respond to this idea. Stupid stupid stupid, runs through Finnick's mind. But considering this is the last time he will speak to his boyfriend for a very long time he does not say this. "I'll miss you." Finnick manages to choke out. Gale holds Finnick's hand and leans in to kiss his jaw. "And I'll miss you too." Gale says softly, looking into Finnick's eyes. Finnick blinks back at him and sighs.

"Why are you going then? Plutarch can get someone else to go instead," Finnick insists.

"I know Plutarch can, but I have to go. I have to kill him." Gale responds, looking away from Finnick's eyes and staring at the floor. Finnick knew who he meant by him. Snow. President fucking Snow.

"Gale, please." Finnick begs, desperation dripping from his voice. Tears escape both Gale's grey seam eyes and Finnick's wild eyes. Gale puts his finger on Finnick's lip. Finnick suddenly starts crying uncontrollably into Gale's muscular chest and Gale feels so guilty and useless he is at a loss of what to do. So instead of making false promises like 'it will be OK' he holds Finnick tightly and kisses his soft bronze hair. And then, possibly the worst timing, Gale's commander watch starts beeping and flashing signaling that it is time for Gale to go and Finnick to** let **go. Finnick sighs heavily, because even though he spends most of his time in the mentally disorientated ward, he knows what the flashing and beeping means. "I love you so much Gale, please come home after. I need you. I'll miss you so much. I'll think about you all the time, I swear. I love you," Finnick blubbers out inbetween loud sobs.

"Sh, baby. I'll come home. I love you too so much. It will only be a few months. The maximum is 3 months. You'll be okay." Gale says to his crying boyfriend. For a second time Gale's commander watch beeps and flashes and by this time they both know they have to say goodbye seriously. Gale presses his lips to finnick's and then pulls apart. A few random soldiers from District 13 come and walk Gale out of the room, and all Finnick screams is 'I love you Gale' over and over again and all Gale screams back is 'I love you too' over and over again. Then the door shuts and Gale is gone. And Gale wasn't gone for just 3 months. He was gone forever.

A year on, Gale still haunts Finnick's dreams. Suicide thoughts run through Finnick's head so often its practically scheduled down for Finnick now. He just wants to be with Gale again. He would do anything to see Gale again. Absolutely anything. And maybe that's why Finnick's bronze beautiful body was found dangling from ropes on a tree. Desperation. He was so desperate to see Gale again. Maybe it was for the best, Finnick was already dead when Gale left anyway. He's free now. Free with Gale.

**Authors note: SORRY THAT WAS DEPRESSING OOPS! OK, ask me anything on /oliverhelloo or follow me on tumblr sick— .com! Thanks (-:**


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